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Monday, July 9, 2007

Are You Dating A Bully?


Are there really characteristics that suggest you are dating a loser?
Yes, and we will identify some of the potentially emotionally damaging characteristics your partner may possess and why these characteristics can be damaging psychologically and even physically.

Can you give us a few examples of knowing when you are with a loser?

1. Rough treatment. Whether they shove you, break your personal property, slap, kick, bite or harm you in any way—realize you are with a loser and you deserve to find a healthy relationship without that person
2. Put-downs. Are you with someone who is always being critical, putting you down, or constantly correcting you for your mistakes? Do you always feel on-guard? Do they constantly tell you that you are fat? Stupid? Unattractive? These things chip away at your confidence and self-esteem. Get out before you are in a deep psychological depression.
3. Breakup panic. Are you with someone who is always threatening to leave? Someone who threatens to break up unless you do things their way? Do they threaten you by saying they will leave or attempt suicide? These are all examples of means of controlling a relationship through manipulation.
4. No outside interests. Be cautious if your partner has nothing in their life except you, and they want you to drop all your hobbies, friends, activities, and appointments. This encompassing relationship prevents both parties from growing and creates destructive dependency

If you find yourself in one of these relationships, what should you do?

1. Seek counseling from a trained licensed professional
2. Gather a support system
3. Decide if this relationship is healthy for you, and if not, create a plan to end the relationship without blame
4. Be decisive. Too many people vacillate and go in and out of relationships. Be sure to look at all the pros and cons before you decide to remain in a relationship or stay.

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