How to photograph a new puppy

1. Remove film from box and load the camera.
2. Remove the film box from the puppy's mouth and throw in the trash.
3. Remove the puppy from the trash and brush off coffee grounds from his nose.
4. Choose a suitable background for the puppy.
5. Find the puppy and take the shoe from his mouth
6. Place the puppy in the designated spot and go back to the camera
7. Focus with one hand and fend off the puppy with the other hand.
8. Get a tissue and clean off the nose print from the camera lens.
9. Try to get the puppy's attention by squeaking a toy in your hand.
10. Replace our glasses and check the camera for damage.
11. Jump up quickly to take the puppy out the door and say, "Bad dog!"
12. Clean up the spot on the floor.
13. Resolve that you must teach the puppy to "sit" and "stay" tomorrow morning.